Try these statements on for size:
Humans need relationships.
Entrepreneurs are humans.
No really, they’re both true. If we build on those statements, then we get this one:
Business success is a hollow, empty thing without personal success.
Money and all its trappings get kind of boring after a certain point. Trust us, we’ve seen it happen. Achievements and external gains are meaningless if you’re celebrating all by yourself. Yes, even if you’re an introvert (introverts need people too, even if they sort of hate them).
If you’re an entrepreneur and in a romantic relationship, you may feel torn between your two loves: your partner, and your business. Each one may be jealous of the other, and you may feel like you’re doing a crappy job at one - or both. Your partner may resent your business (either openly or secretly). Those job postings, highlighted and printed on your kitchen table, are a neon sign that something is rotten in the state of Denmark. (That’s Shakespeare. We’re fancy.)
It is possible - albeit tricky - to launch and run a successful business, and have successful relationships at the same time.
A Little How To
The exec team at Admin Slayer is full of robots. Figuratively. We’re real, live humans, but we’re procedure nuts and we take that into the weirdest places, like our relationships. Hey, why fix what ain’t broke? You can effect positive change in your relationships with process.
Think of your relationship like a business
It’s the Business of Home, and just like that other business:
You need to invest in it.
You need to work at it.
Any kind of success will take time, effort, and consistency.
There will be failures and successes throughout the life of your relationship. Some will fail early, some will fail later, but failures will occur. Successes can follow those failures with the commitment and diligence of both partners.
There’s no guarantee of success. Your business of home can fail, and your partner can leave, if either of you becomes complacent.
Create Structure, and a Plan
Any great success requires careful planning. Doesn’t sound romantic? That’s okay. Romance doesn’t pay the bills. It’s simply one factor in your multi-faceted relationship. Imagining everything will just work out because Love Will Find a Way is pure silliness and a silent request for failure.
You want this to work? Then you need to work.
Schedule regular dates. If you’re not making time for your spouse right now, turn it around. Carve time out of your schedule, just for them. Spontaneity isn’t the be-all, end-all. Making this person important to your life is. Show ‘em that you mean it.
Create a vision together. Your spouse may not realize that the madness of those first 3-5 years of business is actually just for those first 3-5 years. Tell them where you’re planning on taking this thing, and what it means for you two. Talk dreams. Talk purpose, and then set goals - together - about how you’re getting there, and when you want that to be.
Have regular check-ins on your goals (and your relationship). What’s the business doing and how does that impact your plans for your relationship? What’s happening in your spouse’s life that will impact your plans? What needs tweaking, changing, and discussion? Your partner in life deserves the same care, attention, and communication as your customers and your partners in business.
Get help. Delegate the things you don’t need to be doing in your business, the things that are taking away from your relationships. Take a look at your home as well - what can you delegate there?
Remind yourself what matters, and make sure your behaviours are aligning with your stated intentions. Talk is cheap. Action matters.
Make Your Partner Your Number One Client
How do you want to treat your best customers? You’ve probably got a written structure describing how the people who help your business achieve success are treated (if you don’t, you’ve got some writing to do). How would you feel if someone treated your customers poorly?
There are plenty of business owners who treat their romantic partners in ways they would never allow their clients to be treated. Being late, muting phone calls and texts, ignoring or blowing off commitments - it’s not okay. No matter what you’re up against, your number one supporter needs to be supported.
Honour your commitments. Your scheduled date nights are only valuable if they happen. Be someone your partner can count on.
When you’re together, be present. No one and nothing is so important that you can’t turn off your phone for a few hours. Show your partner that they matter.
Save your best self for your partner. For quality time together to be meaningful, you can’t be an exhausted cranky pants. Prepare yourself to be awake, rested, and engaged for those times when you are with your partner.
You want them to keep showing up in your life, so you need to keep showing up in theirs.
Therapy is Not Giving Up
Not sure how to break your patterns? Consider therapy or counselling. Whether it’s for you, or for both of you as a couple, getting professional help in any arena where you’re struggling is a great idea.
We hire professionals for our legal concerns, our accounting, finance, technology, and much more, without a lick of shame. Some people know things we don’t, and they can make it easier for us to attain success. Stow your ego and ask for the help you need.
There’s a reason you chose your partner, (or will, if you’re currently single) and a reason they chose you (ditto). Your entrepreneurial drive was likely one of the many things they found so attractive. Apply the passion that you bring to your business to every corner of your life, especially that all-important partnership. Success is far more fun when you’re together